Most Significant Changes Stories

I have bought a clean mattress for my daughter

Maya Nepal wants a bright future for young women. where they do not suffer the humiliation she had to go through. Today she spreads the knowledge she has gained from the Women's Welfare Associations reproductive health training and tells her story about living under the rule of old beliefs.

By Malene Lærke

26. July 2006

The brown eyes of Maya Nepal turn black when her thoughts go back to the days when she was 14 years old. It was at that age she got married. Her first period in her husband’s house is a memory she finds it difficult to tell about.

“For twelve days I sat in a dark moist room in a separate part of the house. The ants were crawling all over my body and I could not get any sleep. I was not allowed to talk, and could not get a bath or any food. I sat there all alone in the dark room and could only get out when I had to go to the toilet. Not even the sun was allowed to see me. That was how dirty I was,” she recalls and looks sternly at the people listening to her story. A crowd of women has gathered to share their experiences and Maya Nepal has chosen to talk and tell her story.  

For twelve years Maya Nepal was put in the dark room during the days of her period.

“In those days I was not mature and I accepted the way I was treated but when I think about it today it pinches my heart and it makes me bitter and I ask myself why I had to be treated like that. Today I know it was wrong. My mother in law was not a bad woman but because of illiteracy she did not know what there were the right things to do. She did not change anything and my husband did not support me, says Maya Nepal that today is 43 years old.

Maya Nepal falls silent and sits in her own thoughts and starts to cry. She gets up and walks around in the yard. The crowd listening to her story falls quiet patiently waiting for her return. The women mumble and agree it is a difficult story to tell. After a while Maya Nepal reluctantly comes back to continue her story. It hurts to recall the memories and the humiliation.

“After twelve years it got a little bit better. I did not have to stay in the room all day. I was allowed to work in the cowshed but not allowed to milk the cows or to touch anyone and I still had to sleep in the dark room but I could get out in the sun and that helped,” she says and pauses.

“I also remember what it was like when I gave birth to my two daughters. Straws were scattered on the floor and I was given dirty clothes to wear. And I had to wear them for 10 days after I gave birth and I could not get a bath. The room was dark and no air came into the room. After the birth the only thing I was allowed to eat was rice and ghee. I was not allowed to get out and not allowed to talk to males. I was dirty,” tells Maya Nepal and plays with a straw from the mat she is sitting on.

“I do not want the same to happen to my own married daughter. I have bought her a clean mattress, pillows and blankets that can all be washed and reused after she has given birth. Today I know a woman should be treated with respect. Not like I was treated.”

The message to the community

Maya Nepal has two daughters and both of them have gotten an education. It has been hard. Ten years ago her husband left for India and has never returned. Today Maya Nepal earns a bit of money by farming and cutting grass.

“What I have learned is that when we are uneducated we are dependent but if we are educated we have the possibility to know better. To give my daughters a good life I had to give them an education. I must do all I can especially to them.”

One year ago Maya Nepal participated in a reproductive health training given by WWA. The training gave her the knowledge she needed in order to make a difference to for the next generations. She tells about what she has learned to the women she meets so that they know what is right and wrong.

“I am an example of an uneducated woman and what I have had to live through because of this. The bitterness I feel is mine and I have to make sure that this bitterness is not passed on to the next generation. Therefore I must inform the young women and give them a better life. That is my task,” she says.

“By birth I was given a soft heart so I always imagined that I was going to help people in need. Instead I got bitterness and a heart made of stone. It is time for me to go back to my old soft heart and help people. The reproductive training has given me the chance to do just that.”