Building Bridges workshop i Amman, august 2007

This summer I spent 10 days in Jordan participating in a workshop elaborated by The Jordanian-Danish Youth Dialogue Center in Amman which is a part of MS Danish Association for International Co-operation. The focus of the workshop was on building bridge between cultures and getting to understand each other’s cultures. I was a part of a group containing 10 Danes and 10 Jordanians between 18 – 27 years old. We lived together for 10 days and during these days we had closed sessions where we discussed topics like non-discrimination, stereotypes, co-existents, Palestine/Israel conflict, the cartoon controversy, cultural understanding and we worked with team building and cooperation.

Af Kim Andersen

13. september 2006

The ”suppressing” veil.
September 10. 2007

The Danish group arrived to Jordan in the middle of the night and got few hours of sleep before the first meeting with the Jordanian group. The Jordanian group contained, opposite of the Danish group, of mostly males. They were 8 males and 2 females and the Danish group contained 7 females and 3 males.

The meeting took place at the restaurant of our hotel. When we entered the restaurant we went to say hello and introduce ourselves to everyone in the Jordanian group. There was nothing unusual about that. But when I approached the last two Jordanians, the two Muslim females, something happened. Systematically I put my hand forward, ready to shake their hands, but suddenly something came to my mind and I pulled my hand back again. In my preparation before leaving Denmark, I bought a Lonely Planet book and I read that you should shake hands with everyone – but only with a Jordanian woman if she offers her hand first. Suddenly I didn’t know what to do. I don’t know if they noticed that I at first tried to shake their hands and then pulled my hand back. I surely don’t hope so. Many thoughts started to run through my head. All the things, that have been discussed in the public debate and on the political scene in Denmark, about how suppressed the Muslim female wearing the veil are, came to my mind. The Muslim females that I know in Denmark, with or without the veil, live in and for a secularized society. But here I was, in a country that’s not secularized and according to some tv-programs I’ve seen and articles I’ve read there are some Muslim countries where women are not allowed to work, to drive, to apply for a divorce, have a public duty etc. What was the situation for these two girls?

The first two sessions were about getting to know each other and team building. Before we began the first session I remember I asked myself these questions; I wonder if there are any limitations for what I can say and do when I’m together with the two girls. And how will it be like in the sessions? Can I in these closed sessions say whatever I want and how will they react to that? How will they contribute to the sessions? Will they be able to speak freely without worrying about how the Jordanian guys will react?

From the first minute of the session they made me embarrassed that I´ve even had these thoughts. They had the gift of the gab. You could hear that they were well educated, they were well articulated. They spoke English better than me. When we had to describe ourselves with 8 words, they both had education or seeking knowledge as one of their words. They were very committed in the sessions, and without hurting anyone´s feelings, they were the most committed in the entire group.

Every time we talked about Denmark and its culture they constantly focused and wanted to know everything we had to say about Denmark and our opinion about the western part of the world. It seemed like they couldn´t get enough. I have even chatted with one of them after the workshop at 2 am in the morning where she was reading. She told me that she often is reading in the middle of the night. Beside that I think that they spoke as freely as the participants from Denmark, they were also very critically. They didn´t take things for granted. They discussed in the same level as the Danes. They shared their thoughts and their opinions. These two girls didn´t seemed suppressed at all.

How come I suddenly had these thoughts? I don’t share the same opinion as those who think that the veil should be forbidden, because it’s a symbol for suppression. I usually see myself as an unprejudiced person. But as the German philosopher Hans Georg Gadamer said in one of his works, it’s a prejudice to think that you don’t have any prejudices. I can’t stop thinking about how someone can say that a specific people are suppressed, if these people consider themselves as free and independent in their own self-realization. And is it not cultural and religious suppressing to forbid the Muslim women to wear the veil?

After my return to Denmark I asked the two girls by email why they wear the veil and one of them said that she had just recently chosen to wear the veil and everyone near her, her family and her friends were surprised in the beginning, because they were used to see her without and they were used to see her as this fashionable girl who was too pretty to cover up. But she felt that she was treated differently because of her looks and her gender so she refused to let this keep on going. And by doing the obligations that her religion asked her to do, she could get closer to the spirit of it – closer to Allah.  

Now I have drawn a very beautiful picture of these two Jordanian women. They are not totally free to do or say whatever they like. There are some restrictions; they don´t have the freedom of speech as we know it in Denmark. You can´t criticize Islam or the King of Jordan, couples can´t show their affection to each other in public if they aren´t married, but this also goes for the men. But as I see it, Jordan is developing.

Unfortunately I didn´t get to know the two Jordanian girls as personally as I hope for because I was too reserved by my prejudices. That´s why I find it extremely important that we keep having these dialogues so we can understand each other better and so we can live side by side or else we will take on these ignorant opinions that keep dividing us both domestically and abroad.