Building Bridges workshop i Amman, august 2007
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13. september 2006
Its 4:37am, Saturday morning, I have to do the report, my reflection of the workshop I finished earlier last week!
A lot comes to my mind when I want to write,, let me start:
The workshop as a concept is very unique, because to the many conferences and workshop I have been through there wasn’t this focus, I liked that the idea targeted two countries, so to have more focus, and really get to know the smallest things about the other, yet the group coming from Denmark was diversified more than I could expect, from different backgrounds and levels of education, that’s in a way or another made the meeting more special and taste different, everyone brought his own experience of the Danish living, it wasn’t all typical life style.
Let’s start from the very beginning, I preferred if we could have the Danes contact list so we can talk to before they come to Jordan so at least to break the ice and get to know them a little bit before coming and meet them for the first time in the conference. The orientation we –the Jordanian- had was very important and I think it should be more detailed to cover some extra topics, but it was great to think about that.
The program was designed very perfectly, I think it couldn’t be any better, like the first day was outside, and that really helped,, we all were in an open space and we got to know all of each other before going into the hotel and then rooms of two and things could have been ended that way, the sessions were great, really most of the discussion was needed, and we could have had more exciting discuss but we took it easy on each other in the early sessions but in the last two sessions things were really hard, I don’t know if its because the nature of the topics or because we were understood the meaning of a real discuss and that it has nothing to do with friendship and we shall not be caring too much while discussing and hearing something that really go against my believes, I think we succeed after all. The first day was so special, because we met the amazing group at breakfast and it was an hour before going on the bus to Jelad, where we camped the night, in the bus, we mixed automatically, and if it happened that two Jordanian or two Danes sat next to each other, someone would ask to exchange places. We investigated each other in the bus, new things about each other, very simple things that stuck in mine till the moment, Jelad place was very good, we agreed on the things that we want to do, and we sat the rules for the workshop, though I think that wasn’t used efficiently, one of the main rules we set there, was talking only in the common language, which is for that case was English, that was a very hard rule, for some of us who keeps forgetting about who is around and if they don’t understand what he/she is saying!
We have been through very nice and pleasant time, but we also tasted what it means to have to spend all the time together, we all had different personalities, and types of behavior, but we need to work as a group in the workshop, we all had options to act individually but we needed to act like a one group because that was the purpose of our workshop.
That didn’t prevent that we split unconsciously to two main groups, each group consists of Jordanian and Danes, so the division wasn’t regarding the nationality but regarding the interests. That shows that we are so similar to each other even from totally two different backgrounds, yes, that’s true we clicked so fast, we didn’t wait till the last two weeks to get really knowing each other, for me, as for most of the group, it started the minute we met.
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Many things I realized during the workshop, and they are only checkpoints that I think I have to go through them in the report of mine, but first I shall stress on that I love all the group and really holds a great respect for each one of them for his/her uniqueness.
Some of the group members didn’t participate in the sessions, especially when the discussion was open, there are people I don’t know how they think because I didn’t have the chance to hear from them, they wanted to speak individually, not in front of the whole group, that’s of course so bad, because I am sure that the discussion could have been more enriched with their opinions.
Some other people thought it’s not really necessary to take part in the discussion, why to bother they thought, they justified their attitude by saying that they are convinced with what they think and they are not willing to convince anyone with their believes, so they were listeners only, and again we lost some voices and ideas.
Something called cultural sensitivity, which we learnt it’s something doesn’t contradict with values or freedom, I don’t want to make judgments but I felt it stronger from some of the participants and not at all from the other participants, I think the reason was that they are free to do whatever they want as long as it’s not wrong- in their view point. That issue, also uncontrollably, played an important role in structuring the friendship and how we preferred to spend our time, am not talking about a hypothetical situation, but a specific one. For me, I preferred to be around some people from the Danes, because I thought it’s easier to do so, they were aware of the environment and it’s complication and the nature of the people, etc!
The facilitator is the greatest thing happened in the workshop, really, she is amazing though I think 20 people were a little too much for one facilitator. Sometimes, we missed the point of the games or the sessions,, we didn’t realize that the sessions and discussions were meant to be a little more aggressive.
Showing some responsibility toward the workshop, many times we could see that one or two of the participants are not there, and that surely affected the workshop, sometimes the facilitator herself didn’t know where is the rest of the participants.
I think we could have been more prepared for the field trips, more equipped with the needed tools or at least bought the necessary stuff, even dressed properly. We once we for voluntary working in a school for girls, but some of us were wearing shorts and slippers, which doesn’t suit the culture we are visiting or the purpose of our visit.
For me, I felt that our program is depending a lot on the food, I don’t know but every time we get into the work or sessions and discussions, we had to stop for food! And it’s known that after eating the productivity of the human decrease.
Maybe for the sake of follow up, we could have documented some of the sessions or have minutes of some of the meetings, in order to prepare a package CD to give to all the participant, so the benefit from this workshop to be sustainable or even continuous. We could have assigned media persons who are responsible for collected pictures and documenting, as waiting for the last minute didn’t help a lot.
Too much rules, I think it was better to leave it all to our sense of awareness and understanding.
The workshop in general was very creative, and helped me a lot to understand more about myself, especially that session about identity, and also succeed in creating a very unique network and connect people from different part of the universe.
One last comment, our workshop consisted of many outdoor activities, and that needed money pocket, so for next times I think a budget for money pocket can be very helpful.
After all, and seriously I mean it, that this workshop is very amazing and offered an exceptional experience for me. Thank you all who spend time and effort in planning for this gathering and really appreciate it.
Am sorry for the delay but I think one week wasn’t enough to send the reflections, maybe because many of us still emotionally touched and the reports will show some if not many emotions,,
Thank you once again,
Majdi Mustafa, from Jordan.
18:26 Sunday.
Building Bridges workshop i Amman, august 2007
During the past few decades, there has been a great gap between the Arabs – or middle easterners – and the west in general, due to intellectual, religious and cultural differences. This large gap was so hard to overcome and was always increasing due to the total disagreement on some major issues, where both parties refused to make any compromises, and sometimes refused even to talk about it.
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13. september 2006
Only 10 days…but a lifetime experience
However, this conflict was not a result of coincidence; there were always hidden groups that work for their own interests. And to achieve their goals, they had to create conflicts between other nations in a hand, and to focus on the differences, while totally ignoring the similarities in the other, all this was just to keep themselves controlling, as well as keeping their truth unrevealed.
After this long period of disagreement, and within the last couple of years, a huge wave of awareness came to the fore; it made many people try to figure out the main problems that caused this big controversy. As a result many programs and projects were set by different organizations and sometimes governments in order to study and analyze the whole case, and to try to come up with solutions to shrink this gap.
One of the best solutions that showed a great influence on both societies was the cultural exchange, since it gives a major concern on youth, taking into consideration that they are the driving force towards any change, and they are the majority in the community.
However, this program "Building Bridges" which is applied and supervised by the Jordanian Danish Dialog Center, and financed by the Danish ministry of foreign affairs, gave an obvious example of the great effect of such programs.
Talking on behalf of myself as a participant in this excellent program, I expected at first that it will be so hard to get along with each other as two groups, due to the reasons mentioned above, add to that the lack of information that we have about Denmark, and also our expectation that they know almost nothing about Jordan or Islam, and this would certainly complicate the situation.
Not only this, but also the stereotypes that everyone carries inside, and those are really too many, some regarding to women in both societies, other about human rights and how applicable they are, besides the most important stereotype which is about how do we look to and think about each others as two different cultures. This was only my expectations before I got involved in the program.
Well, I just couldn't believe that many of the differences had just vanished in the first day! Maybe one considers this as an exaggeration, but it is only what happened, I didn't expect this welcoming from both sides, I thought everyone will act formal, and that social limits will not be exceeded by any group, taking into consideration that we are still in our first meeting, but believe me, it took me only two days to feel like home.
But to be honest there were still some small problems – which is definitely very normal – and they were later solved in a perfect way by the facilitator – Sarah Ababneh – who had a noticeable and great role in the whole ten days, she made the access to anyone in the group easier, also she had made such a harmony between everyone, and this is one of the most important privileges that counts for the program.
Still talking about the first two days, where many goals were achieved through the first three sessions. These sessions; introductions, trust building and listening, had a vital role in overstepping many barriers between us, I felt very comfortable when I knew somehow how others think in many subjects, such as family matters, interests, and passions, this made it easier for me to talk and express myself to others.
Also the exercises had a psychological influence on each and every one of us, although there were simple in the way they are practiced, but what lies beneath is really worth it.
This was my impressions about the first two days, where some of the participants, Jordanians and Danes, became so close to me. I might add that the place at which we spent these days, Jala'ad, had also a strong positive influence.
The program continued in one of Amman's hotels, where the relations became much stronger, and we started to feel more comfortable.
Well, the following two days were the hardest for all of us, I guess, because of the sensitive topics that were discussed; religion and Identity.
In the Identity session, which was really tough, we had no idea that we were about to discuss every single aspect of our identities, we talked so deep and open, but this is so easy compared with exercise that did tear our hearts apart, we had to erase all parts of our identity, and just to keep one part as a representative of the others, I had to cross out my family, my friends, and even my morals, it was really a tough thing to do, and I think all others share me this feeling.
But after all it was the most useful session, we got to know each other very well now, and for me I've learned many lessons, maybe the most important ones were the great influence of my religion in both my identity and life, and also how much of my religion is practiced in my life.
During these two days, religions also were discussed thoroughly, a session was hold for that purpose, and also a visit to a church and an Islamic speech took place. I think listening to all of these removed the vagueness about both Islam and Christianity, many questions were answered, and good understanding of both religions was achieved as a result, honestly I was so happy to introduce Islam in my own way which I believe is the right way, and without the bad influence of extremists or fake media.
I think this session gave a great push for the program to fulfill its main goals, because by now we have already surpassed successfully the cultural, the intellectual, and the religious parts, and what are left are only our political views, which is important, but still the most important parts were already discussed.
It is so true that I am now very close to some people; I feel that I knew them years ago, and I started thinking of our last day together, which I believe will be so sad for all of us.
The final two days of this program were about our political points of view, as well as the attitudes about the cartoons, what surprised me is that we share the same attitude, Jordanians and Danes, about the cartoons! Maybe we had some disagreements about why did we take those attitudes, but after all we agreed that anyone's freedom ends when others' start, whatever the reason is.
Still, we had our believes that prophet Mohammed can not be abused or insulted in any manner, because we consider him as our leader and idol, and that’s why we objected to the cartoons, meanwhile the Danes considered the cartoons as a violation to the right of speech, but after all both of us totally disagree with the cartoons, which was really a surprise for some of the Jordanians.
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The final subject that was discussed was Palestine, and I think this was the only subject that left some disagreements between the two groups, there was a clear misunderstanding about the case and the way the problem should be solved, there were many opinions and ideas, but time wasn't enough to discuss the details about the Arab-Israel conflict, and I wish someday we can clarify more our attitudes.
Here we come to the emotional part; the final session, we had to do a very tough exercise in which we have to stare into someone's eyes for a couple of minutes while hearing a very sad music, and we had to remember what we've did together during the past eight days.
It was really hard, after a small period of emotion-control; we started to cry one by one, I just couldn't hold my tears, it was really very sad just to remember how close we were together, and to know that we only have a day and a half to spend with each other.
I really felt how close I am to these young gentlemen and ladies, it was a hard exercise that brought out all good feelings that we have for each other.
However, the emotional thing extended to the last day, when the Danes were supposed to leave, I was one of four Jordanians who stayed for the last minutes in the Danish center, I really wanted to spend every available moment with my dear friends whom I may not see afterwards, we played cards, we had dinner, and after that we reached the very sad moment, the bus arrived to pick our friends to the airport.
Its goodbye time now, I felt so bad, we started saying goodbye, and who saw us could certainly realize how much we were close, our tears filled our eyes while we were hugging each other warmly, it was very sad moments.
After that the bus departed, we stayed for some time in the center, and then we decided to go home, but something popped up in our minds, and told us to follow our fellows to the airport, and that was exactly what we did, we just drove in a crazy way so as to see them before they leave to the plane, it was really a surprise for all of them, it was a crazy idea, but at least we had the chance to see them for another few minutes!!
After all, I think this was the best experience that I've ever been through, there were many things that I've learned, many things in my life were affected in a way or in another, and I totally changed many thoughts and opinions about the west in general and especially Demark.
I've been also proud to express myself, my country, my culture and my religion in a way that builds strong bridges with other cultures and religions, because I gave the right and the honest information, and I represented all of these in my behaviors and attitudes during the ten days which, as I noticed, influenced strongly my Danes friends.
It is also an honor for me to have such a nice group of friends who showed great kindness and love, as well as their lovely spirits and warm hearts, this group includes our wonderful supervisors, who were always by our sides, and never made us feel that there is a gap between us and them.
If I was to recommend something, it would certainly be arranging a visit for the same Jordanian group to Denmark, in order to discuss more deeply the unsolved matters, as well as the subjects that were not opened.
Ibrahim I. Ayeshn (Jordan)